weddings in the perspective of the single [mid-quarter-life] woman

19 07 2006

I originally had a different topic planned for my first post on this quarter-life blog, but due to an earlier e-mail I received [from Corinne nonetheless], I’ve decided to rant about how it sucks to not have a “plus-one” at weddings.

I only have a handful of single friends. Like- real single friends – friends who aren’t married, have kids, are dating someone or several someones, or are engaged. These friends are just single for whatever the reason may be. I have one friend who just got married last month. I have another friend who’s planning her wedding. I have a friend who just got out of a long term relationship and has already spotted his next potential girlfriend. I have friends who are chain daters and just can’t/won’t stop. It is deeply depressing when I realize all the world around me is attached somehow. I constantly feel like I need to move my love life along. When I was in Hong Kong and China, I couldn’t help but notice how everyone is paired up. I began to wonder if anyone ever went out by him/herself. I spent over a week by myself in Hong Kong and I could feel people looking at me like, “What kind of loser are you? Why are you alone? Don’t you have any friends?” I thought it was just me overthinking things but I’ve asked around and have confirmed my findings. Even my mom has been telling me that if I don’t find someone in college, my chances are slimmed significantly. I’m already out of college. Now, tell me, what kind of kick me while I’m down is that?

I have no qualms with weddings. I am happy to see my friends happy, but does everyone need to be happy right now? My real quandry is this: why are those who don’t deserve the “happily ever after” getting it? I have a friend who’s planning her wedding. Her and her boyfriend got “pre-engaged” a few years ago and her ring- huge! She’s a great girl and she’s had her share of asshole men in her life, yet she can’t tell that this one’s not good for her either. She thinks this is the one she’s going to settle down with and stay with until she’s old and grey. How do you tell someone who already has her seating plan arranged for her wedding that the man she wants to spend her life with is useless? Not only is he useless, cuz useless I can deal with- but he’s a total jerk to her. You can hear in his voice sometimes that he doesn’t respect her and he’s constantly belittling her. It’s people like him who should end up alone and poor, yet he’s getting married. He’s doing the one thing that every little girl fanatasies about. Why should he be able to live out some little girl’s dream?

They say that women always seem to fall for the assholes so going along with that theory, shouldn’t a good majority of the asshole population be taken? Why is it still easy to find an unworthy man? Are there just no good men left? Have they all been scorned and have now converted to assholism?

I’m tired of not having someone to share my days with. I’m tired of meeting someone and building a relationship only to have it fall apart on me. I don’t want to have to scramble to find random someones to attend weddings or other events with me anymore. It really shouldn’t be so hard in a city so big. The next wedding I’m going to, I have a plus one. He happens to be my ex. Woe is me.

— miss beancurd

—-
New York City is all about sex. People getting it, people trying to get it, people who can’t get it. No wonder the city never sleeps. It’s too busy trying to get laid. [[satc]]

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2 responses

4 08 2006
Jim

History Trivia for non-Dummies Blog

Why Grooms Carry Brides across the Threshold
The historical tradition of a groom carrying his bride across the threshold is over 3,000 years old.

It is based on the Rape of the Sabine Women. When you go back this far in history it can become hard to tell myth from history, but the story is an ancient one whose tradition has carried down to the present day.

As newly founded Rome grew in size, its founder Romulus discovered that he had many men but very few women, and that the male population of immigrants to the city was growing rapidly. The Sabines were a people who lived near Rome. They refused to let their daughters intermarry with Romans.

Romulus invited the Sabines to attend games in honor of Neptune in Rome. When they did, bringing their daughters with them, the Romans carried off the young Sabine women, on a pre-arranged signal given by Romulus.

A war between the Sabines and the Romans began. In order to stop the war that began over them the young, kidnapped women intervened. They convinced their Sabine fathers to cease their attack and allow their marriages to the Romans.

The Sabine women attached several conditions to their agreement to marry the Roman men, however. The most noteworthy was that the Roman husband had to carry his Sabine bride across the threshold of their new home.

The ritual was to symbolize that initially the Sabine women were forcibly taken by the Roman men against their will into their homes.

That is the historical reason why bridegrooms still carry their brides across the threshold today. The ritual still takes place after our modern weddings, though most people don’t know why they do it. Now you know why.

Source: History of Rome, Livy

18 02 2007
Mini-announcement « Quarter Life Crisis | 25 Cents

[…] Mini-announcement 18Feb07 As most of you may or may not know… I have co-authors on this blog. Unfortunately, they don’t post all that much. Prior to this announcement, I had two co-authors. Who have collectively written one post. (here) […]

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