Bellies and UDL.

26 10 2006

I wonder what I’d look like without my belly chub. It’s always been there. I’ve always grabbed at it, poked it, squished it around to make the pseudo-butt cleavage. I wonder what I’d look like with an actual toned tummy. Maybe my belly button jewelry will actually sit right, instead of crooked, due to the skewing of my center line due to non-balanced chub. Maybe I could actually CHANGE my belly button jewelry. Cause, you know, that would be cool. Inasmuch as I actually like the starting jewelry, I could change it to something dangly and annoying. What happened to simplicity? Girls are carrying around the dangling-to-the-shoulder earrings, dangling rings, dangling bracelets, layered necklaces, why not add dangling other body jewelry to that list. You’ve gotta be hauling around at least another pound or two of metal that way. Sheesh.

Ew. Is it really that hard for people to clean up after they pee? I always check the seat out for UDL (Unidentified Drops of Liquid) before I pee, because that’s really gross, plopping your rear end down on the seat, and feeling that cold wetness spread out over one leg/cheek or the other, and come to the horrid realization that you’ve sat on what is possibly someone else’s liquid excretions… regardless of whether or not it’s water from their hands or just splash residue from the sink — you can never be too careful in an office full of non-family people. Ewie. I’m not as OCD about germs as some other people I know, but geez. Ew to residual pee on toilet seats.




2 responses

19 11 2006

You can avoid UDL by just hovering over the toilet seat. Hovering also exercises your thighs and butt, so it’s two for the price of one!

19 11 2006
25 cent life

When I see you doing such in 4 inch heels… then come and talk.

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