A friend once told me that after the weaning days (from breastfeeding) the human body starts becoming lactose intolerant.
This doesn’t sit well with me… not only because I love me lots of dairy, but I was a formula baby up till my 4th birthday. Like literally, I woke up, I was 4 years old – and suddenly I could drink milk no problem. Incidentally, later that day, I remember walking up to my refrigerator, and realizing – in utter horror – that all my baby bottles filled with the soy formula goodness have just up and disappeared. Baby Bottles. GONE. From The Refrigerator. It was so traumatizing, I can feel myself fill up with anxiety just thinking about it now. It’s like waking up one morning, I’m 24 years old, and the internet never existed.
Anyway, after my 4th birthday, I continued on happily ingesting and imbibing everything and anything dairy. Not just cow milk, but caribou milk (I’m Filipino, remember?), goat milk, sheep milk (the latter two are from a couple of European excursions I took in my youth). I was totally that 4-glasses-of-milk-a-day kid.
Then I went off to boarding school, and suddenly I was that 6-glasses-of-soda-mainly-root-beer-a-day kid. Dairy intake was in the form of cheese and ice cream – mostly.
And now I find myself getting sick to my stomach a few hours after eating ice cream or cheese or drinking a cup of milk. Sick in my stomach results in gas. And I’m not talking your belching kind.
It’s three weeks, kids. He’s still not letting me fart.